2/04/2008

Bob's Presidential Endorsement (This is probably a joke)

Well, I have been silent for far too long! I am now officially making my endorsement for a Presidential Candidate. Nope, it's not Hillary! It's not Obama! It's not Huckabee! It's not Romney! (Some of you are getting worried, huh?) Nope, it's definitely NOT John McCain. It's not even Ron Paul.
Who could it be, then? It's a guy you probably have never heard of until now, but his name is Daniel Melzine Kingery. Who? What? Why? Here's a picture of him:


Mr. Kingery (you'll be calling him Mr. President next year) is not afraid to tell the truth. He's not affiliated with a political party. Maybe more importantly, he would probably be able to stare down anyone and get what he wants. I mean, Kim Jong Il looks scary, but he's got nothing on Kingery.
Here are a few of my favorite quotes from Mr. Kingery's website:
In order to not be confused with the other candidates, I must look and act differently than the others.

From the "About Me" section:

Married for about 13 years.
Divorced without children resulting from my own tactless lack of good judgment. Started several businesses; Some went under because of my own mismanagement of funds (translation: I didn't plan on unwarranted interference from local politicians). Others met with demise assisted by small-town politics, which resulted in two bankruptcies (translation: I planned on the groundless battles but hadn't anticipate judges unconstitutionally denying my request for jury trials).

At various other times in my life, I've been a thief, adulterer, verbally insulted others, drank, smoked, and lied among many others that I'm not so proud of. Because of the lessons learned, I'm not ashamed of them either. If the details of any of this is that important to you, just ask.

I'm sure you've got a few questions. Is he serious? It's frightening, but I think he is serious. Check out his website to find out more about his stance on various issues. Here's the link:
http://www.portablepublishing.com/
Am I seriously endorsing this guy? Heaven's no! Not that my endorsement would do anything for a presidential candidate.

If this guy doesn't float your boat, you do have options. Check out these other candidates:
http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/11126

Good luck to all of us as we decide who is best for the job of our next President!



No comments: